by Mary Tutterow | Oct 24, 2017 | Uncategorized
“Compassion fatigue” is usually referred to when talking about nurses, doctors, soldiers or professionals who help others who are suffering, but it’s also very real among friends and family caring for someone with exceptional needs or who is...
by Mary Tutterow | Sep 8, 2017 | Uncategorized
As we prepare for the impact of ANOTHER deadly storm while watching the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the content of the blog I posted nearly one year ago still rings true. I’ve posted it again and am praying for guidance and wisdom for all. Riding the Storm...
by Mary Tutterow | Jul 24, 2017 | aging, autism, burn out, cancer, caregiving, disabilities, isolation, loneliness, Mary Tutterow, special needs, Uncategorized
“Be_________ so that you can be loveable.” We send this message to our children, our neighbors, the people we hire, our spouses, etc. Be a certain way so that I can love you, employ you, marry you, etc. That’s the criteria we use to make decisions. I will choose it if...
by Mary Tutterow | Jun 10, 2017 | Uncategorized
We’ve been through a lot of changes recently as we sold our home and moved into a more wheelchair-friendly place to accommodate our daughter’s declining condition. Things did not go smoothly. Well, that’s actually an understatement. Chaos, confusion, grief,...
by Mary Tutterow | Feb 9, 2017 | Uncategorized
Someone posed a question to me recently. “Say you’re a caregiver to someone with a mental illness. What have you lost? What do you need?” Interesting way to phrase it, but I get where she is going with it. The right perception is what you need most. If you...
by Mary Tutterow | Feb 7, 2017 | Uncategorized
I am STILL learning this: To love someone is not first of all to do something FOR them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say to them through our attitude – “You are beautiful. You are important. I trust you. You can trust yourself.”...
by Mary Tutterow | Jan 1, 2017 | Uncategorized
As a new year begins, I find myself a bit overwhelmed. Mary Addison broke her “good” arm and is more helpless than ever. Her seizures have gotten worse and she’s had several bad falls (hence the broken arm). To top it off, we lost our beloved caregiver to a job that...
by Mary Tutterow | Dec 4, 2016 | Uncategorized
I think one of the most destructive emotions a caregiver can have is hopelessness. If there is no hope, why do we do what we do? And hopelessness is contagious. When we’re defeated and full of despair, our words and actions can be discouraging to everyone around...
by Mary Tutterow | Oct 5, 2016 | Uncategorized
Our family lives on the East Coast, and we have been warned of a very big storm – a deadly hurricane, as a matter of fact – that is about to impact our lives. We have lived in this place a long time and been through many of these big storms, even a direct hit by Hugo....
by Mary Tutterow | Aug 18, 2016 | Uncategorized
In my first 30 years, I was a “frequent flow-er.” I’d always look for the flow and go with it. I was relaxed about everything and just let things happen (even college and early career). Then real life hit – big job, marriage, mortgage, kids,...