Blog
Do You Have Compassion Fatigue?
"Compassion fatigue" is usually referred to when talking about nurses, doctors, soldiers or professionals who help others who are suffering, but it's also very real among friends and family caring for someone with exceptional needs or who is suffering. Even though...
From Hurricane Alley
As we prepare for the impact of ANOTHER deadly storm while watching the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the content of the blog I posted nearly one year ago still rings true. I’ve posted it again and am praying for guidance and wisdom for all. Riding the Storm Out Our...
Love That Creates Value
“Be_________ so that you can be loveable.” We send this message to our children, our neighbors, the people we hire, our spouses, etc. Be a certain way so that I can love you, employ you, marry you, etc. That’s the criteria we use to make decisions. I will choose it if...
Great Expectations: The Enemy of Change
We’ve been through a lot of changes recently as we sold our home and moved into a more wheelchair-friendly place to accommodate our daughter’s declining condition. Things did not go smoothly. Well, that’s actually an understatement. Chaos, confusion, grief,...
Cost of Caring
Someone posed a question to me recently. “Say you're a caregiver to someone with a mental illness. What have you lost? What do you need?” Interesting way to phrase it, but I get where she is going with it. The right perception is what you need most. If you believe...
Still Learning
I am STILL learning this: To love someone is not first of all to do something FOR them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say to them through our attitude – "You are beautiful. You are important. I trust you. You can trust yourself." We all know well...
No Fear
As a new year begins, I find myself a bit overwhelmed. Mary Addison broke her “good” arm and is more helpless than ever. Her seizures have gotten worse and she’s had several bad falls (hence the broken arm). To top it off, we lost our beloved caregiver to a job that...
Overcoming Hopelessness
I think one of the most destructive emotions a caregiver can have is hopelessness. If there is no hope, why do we do what we do? And hopelessness is contagious. When we're defeated and full of despair, our words and actions can be discouraging to everyone around us. ...
Riding The Storm Out
Our family lives on the East Coast, and we have been warned of a very big storm – a deadly hurricane, as a matter of fact – that is about to impact our lives. We have lived in this place a long time and been through many of these big storms, even a direct hit by Hugo....
Going With The Flow
In my first 30 years, I was a "frequent flow-er." I'd always look for the flow and go with it. I was relaxed about everything and just let things happen (even college and early career). Then real life hit – big job, marriage, mortgage, kids, etc. For my middle 30...
Having Enough
Summer brings to mind all those great family vacations. My mom didn’t like to fly so we always traveled by car – reptile farms and mermaid shows, waterfalls and caverns, old railroads and battlegrounds, Stuckey’s Pecan Logs and Callabash shrimp. And all along the way...
Prejudice
Our family is thrilled to be a part of this amazing project. This clip from the soon-to-be-released documentary is eye-opening, heart-opening and spot on! How can we, as caregivers, help others see the people we care for as fully human, belonging, essential?...
You always have a choice.
I just learned of a woman who took the life of her 24-year old daughter with special needs and then took her own life. Friends say she was very depressed and overwhelmed. She had not been receiving much help. How can caring for a family member with exceptional needs...
What if….
This morning I was feeling especially "put upon," full of self-pity, exhausted from a night of no sleep, tired of the daily grind that faced me again today. I exploded on everyone in my path, which sent them scurrying off mumbling, "What's up with her?" which left me...
The True Story of Mary and John
This is an old photo of my daughter, Mary Addison, and her friend Joseph. I love this photo for many reasons - mostly because our dear friend, Joseph, always saw angels and now he is with the angels. But this story is about an encounter Mary Addison had with a young...
Becoming People of Peace
The post read, “We’re looking for people of peace to join us in this project.” People of peace? What does that mean? Would I qualify? Am I a person of peace? Why a person of peace? What difference could that make as long as I’m qualified? But that was the only...
Loving Hands
As caregivers, we can easily become overwhelmed because we believe it is our job to fix, heal, protect, comfort and sustain the person for whom we care. We may find ourselves in the role of primary caregiver, but the truth is, only God has the ability to fix, heal,...
Back from the Brink
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 Easier said than done. We’ve been through a very dark time. Mary Addison has had seizures almost daily for 23 years, but recently, she would come out of seizures unable to walk, talk, even...
Isolation
"Then he said to them, 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.' " Matthew 26:38 (NIV) Jesus' words here resonate with me. There have been so many times when I just wanted to scream "I feel so alone! I can't do this...
The Power of the Powerless
I went to visit my most favorite teacher ever – my third grade teacher, Mrs. Hasell. I had not seen her in over 40 years, but fate brought us back together on this steamy Saturday afternoon. She seemed like she was 103 years old when she taught me, but she really was...
How To Love
"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19 Love can get so complicated. So much fear of giving love and losing a bit of ourselves if we get hurt. So much manipulation – I will love you so that you will love me. So much disappointment – You don’t love me enough....