No Fear
As a new year begins, I find myself a bit overwhelmed. Mary Addison broke her “good” arm and is more helpless than ever. Her seizures have gotten worse and she’s had several bad falls (hence the broken arm). To top it off, we lost our beloved caregiver to a job that...Overcoming Hopelessness
I think one of the most destructive emotions a caregiver can have is hopelessness. If there is no hope, why do we do what we do? And hopelessness is contagious. When we’re defeated and full of despair, our words and actions can be discouraging to everyone around...Riding The Storm Out
Our family lives on the East Coast, and we have been warned of a very big storm – a deadly hurricane, as a matter of fact – that is about to impact our lives. We have lived in this place a long time and been through many of these big storms, even a direct hit by Hugo....Going With The Flow
In my first 30 years, I was a “frequent flow-er.” I’d always look for the flow and go with it. I was relaxed about everything and just let things happen (even college and early career). Then real life hit – big job, marriage, mortgage, kids,...
The Latest From Mary
- Do You Have Compassion Fatigue? October 24, 2017“Compassion fatigue” is usually referred to when talking about nurses, doctors, soldiers or professionals who help others who are suffering, but it’s also very real among friends and family caring for someone with exceptional needs or who is suffering. Even though compassion fatigue is common, it can be difficult for those who suffer from it […]Mary Tutterow
- From Hurricane Alley September 8, 2017As we prepare for the impact of ANOTHER deadly storm while watching the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the content of the blog I posted nearly one year ago still rings true. I’ve posted it again and am praying for guidance and wisdom for all. Riding the Storm Out (10/05/2016) Our family lives on […]Mary Tutterow
- Love That Creates Value July 24, 2017“Be_________ so that you can be loveable.” We send this message to our children, our neighbors, the people we hire, our spouses, etc. Be a certain way so that I can love you, employ you, marry you, etc. That’s the criteria we use to make decisions. I will choose it if it conforms to what […]Mary Tutterow
- Great Expectations: The Enemy of Change June 10, 2017We’ve been through a lot of changes recently as we sold our home and moved into a more wheelchair-friendly place to accommodate our daughter’s declining condition. Things did not go smoothly. Well, that’s actually an understatement. Chaos, confusion, grief, disappointment and trouble had us hemmed in on every side. Nothing was working out, yet it […]Mary Tutterow
- Cost of Caring February 9, 2017Someone posed a question to me recently. “Say you’re a caregiver to someone with a mental illness. What have you lost? What do you need?” Interesting way to phrase it, but I get where she is going with it. The right perception is what you need most. If you believe that caring for someone with […]Mary Tutterow
- Still Learning February 7, 2017I am STILL learning this: To love someone is not first of all to do something FOR them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say to them through our attitude – “You are beautiful. You are important. I trust you. You can trust yourself.” We all know well that we can […]Mary Tutterow
- No Fear January 1, 2017As a new year begins, I find myself a bit overwhelmed. Mary Addison broke her “good” arm and is more helpless than ever. Her seizures have gotten worse and she’s had several bad falls (hence the broken arm). To top it off, we lost our beloved caregiver to a job that offers better pay and […]Mary Tutterow
- Overcoming Hopelessness December 4, 2016I think one of the most destructive emotions a caregiver can have is hopelessness. If there is no hope, why do we do what we do? And hopelessness is contagious. When we’re defeated and full of despair, our words and actions can be discouraging to everyone around us. Advent is supposed to be a time […]Mary Tutterow
- Riding The Storm Out October 5, 2016Our family lives on the East Coast, and we have been warned of a very big storm – a deadly hurricane, as a matter of fact – that is about to impact our lives. We have lived in this place a long time and been through many of these big storms, even a direct hit […]Mary Tutterow
- Going With The Flow August 18, 2016In my first 30 years, I was a “frequent flow-er.” I’d always look for the flow and go with it. I was relaxed about everything and just let things happen (even college and early career). Then real life hit – big job, marriage, mortgage, kids, etc. For my middle 30 years I began planning and […]Mary Tutterow